The Answer When Adoptees Don’t Know Their History
There certainly is a lot of adoptee anger and sadness regarding missing birth family history. Whether its the opening of our original birth certificates, owning only a certificate of abandonment from a foreign country, or finding negative and painful history, and even a tombstone…its all hard to process.
In the midst of our finding identity with missing history, we need to remember that even though we can’t see our history, someone more powerful than us has seen it and can see it now.
Let me illustrate this with a story about a craftsman who lived centuries ago who did wood carvings for the Cistine Chapel. He was a l-o-n-g way up.
One day, a man was visiting the Chapel and was intrigued by the craftsman’s work. When he got close enough, he could see that the artisan was carving a bird in one of the huge pillars.
“Why are you carving a bird?” the observer asked. “No one can see it!”
The craftsman’s response was simple yet profound. “But God sees.”
The same can be applied to we adoptees and missing history. We may never know this side of heaven what our birth history is, who are birth parents are, or why we were placed for adoption. Apart from a miracle, I will never know my birth father, for my birth mother took that knowledge to her grave.
BUT GOD KNOWS, fellow adoptee! The God who formed you in your birth mother’s womb knows your complete history. The God who planned every day of your life before any one of them came to be, cares for you in a way that no parent ever could. The God who calls you by name knows the pain of not knowing.
I’m not trying to slap a pious phrase on the pain. I’m trying to get us to look upward. Right-no one you can find on this earth knows your birth history. You may have searched your heart out with no results. You may feel abandoned and depressed.
What answer would God give us? “I KNOW, I SEE, I AM HERE FOR YOU.”
Selah…ponder this, my dear fellow adoptees and adoptive parents….
GOD SEES when we can’t. We can trust Him.
Love to all of you wonderful friends,