Why Do Many Adoptees Feel Guilty?
Dear friends through adoption,
Many of us adoptees suffer from haunting guilt. Oh, we won’t tell you about it, but it’s there, like a sticky shadow.
Some of the things we feel guilty for are:
- YOU are responsible! (You were an unplanned pregnancy)
- You have no right to be alive
- You must justify your existence by helping others
- The pain and shame of birth parents is our fault
- You haven’t confessed all your sins
The truth is that these are the messages of false guilt, which adoptees have plenty of.
Difference Between False and True Guilt
There is a solid difference between false and true guilt.
False guilt won’t go away no matter how many times you confess wrong. True guilt will disappear the moment you confess a wrong-doing to God.
And so, the choice we must make to be rid of false guilt is:
CHOICE: Weed out false guilt and begin thinking about how to meet basic need for connection. (Chapter 12: 20 LIFE TRANSFORMING CHOICES ADOPTEES NEED TO MAKE)We will talk soon about how to actually weed out nasty false guilt.
For now, catch yourself on self-condemnation.
Remember…the Good Shepherd speaks only edifying words…condemnation comes from the enemy of your soul.
Suggested Resource: Focus on the Family http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/emotional-health/living-without-constant-guilt/the-origins-of-false-guilt?nosplash=1&utm_campaign=forums2016&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=forums