Winters are a given for those touched by adoption and foster care. They’re the times we wish would disappear…or that we could disappear.
In our winters, we feel utterly vulnerable and if we were a tree, we might say:
- I feel naked….only my branches and trunk show
- I am at my wits’ end trying to make buds blossom…they’re being impossible
- I am worried about what others will say about me losing all my leaves
- Why is the sky so gray?
- I am sick of seeing snow, snow, snow
- Why doesn’t God end the snow and wind?
What has brought on your winter season?
- A failed adoption…birth mom changed her mind
- Infertility struggles
- Surfacing of unexpected special needs in your adopted, foster-to-adopt, or foster child?
- A birth parent rejecting you at reunion
- Finding a tombstone at the end of your adoption search
- Absolute fatigue
- Your child loses it and you lose it in turn
- A pregnant teen
- A disillusioning marriage
- Wishing you’d never adopted (very common)
Whatever your winter, let me assure you that it won’t always be this cold and stormy. We constantly move from one season to another in our lives, parenting, and growing up.
In winter, it’s always a temptation to give into “the halo effect.” In other words, put a positive spin on winter. “Oh, I love the white of the snow.”
You love the white….come on!
While we’re freezing and naked emotionally and spiritually?
You and I don’t have to do that.
We can say winters suck.
We can say we’re cold to the roots.
We don’t have to smile…but we must remember that spring is coming.
It won’t always hurt this bad.
Remember spring….and you may begin to hear a still, small voice saying, I love you! I love you even in the winter. Your leafless branches reveal my intricate design of you. And you now possess a beauty….a new beauty as you stand firm, awaiting the coming spring.
“In fact, your beauty is so magnificent today that I declare you to be my oak of righteousness. Lofty. Strong and magnificent. Distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with me. You are my planting that I may be glorified. (Isaiah 61:3 Amplified)
Yes, winters are a given for those of us touched by adoption and foster care.
But, parents, adoptees, and foster children…you will be known as trees that survived the winter.
Other trees experiencing their first winter will be drawn to you for comfort and encouragement.
Way to go!