Adoptive, Foster, and Birth Parents Long for This

This photo of prize pearls represents adopted and foster children that parents would travel the world for. At times, they get discouraged because their kids come from hard placed. This blog is designed to encourage.

Imagine standing at Tiffany’s jewelry showcase.

Your eyes are drawn to a lustrous, huge. string of pearl, set in a simple, yet elegant setting.

All of us would love having those pearls.

However, there’s another pearl far more precious to adoptive and foster parents…a pearl you would travel to the ends of the earth to obtain…a pearl that can’t be bought.

What the Pearl Is for Parents

It’s the pearl of intimacy between you and your adopted child.

Intimacy means creating an environment that nurtures a give-and-take relationship, which is foundational for future healthy relationships.

Ponder this….and I’ll share more about the pearl in the days to come.

“…the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls…” (Matthew 13:46)

Adoption Triad: Can We Just Get Along?`

The eye pictured here is representative of what the adoption triad needs for healing--Looking into one another's eyes.

What’s going on in the world of adoption is disconcerting.

As you might know, this is not my first rodeo when it comes to experiencing change in the triad’s world.

Now, in my seventh chapter of life, I’m letting go, sorting priorities, and adjusting to a slower pace. I’m watching the next generation rise and bring new truth to adoption by passing the baton whenever possible and inviting them to stand on my shoulders.

However, as I stand down, I see the dynamics of new movements, claims to fame, books, competitiveness,  blogs, comparing, conferences, cliques, cattiness,  feminism, and current politics. Add social media and a militaristic tone, and it’s the set-up for a perfect storm…a storm of division amongst us.

We can’t let that happen.

A great percentage of the list above is toxic and I fear that if division continues amongst us, the possibility for individual and corporate healing will be crippled.

Inside I’m screaming, “Can’t we all just get along?” Can’t we all discover and re-discover together? None of us has the corner on truth…we are journey mates.

When I get off track in my relationships, I refresh my memory with five points that are lies Satan wants us to believe:

  • Look at me
  • Listen to me
  • Let me win
  • Give me mine
  • I need praise

We might as well lay our shoes beside one another and walk life’s beach together.

In time, we may be surprised to discover that those we thought of as adversaries  are really God’s greatest gifts…to cause growth.

Connie Dawson, Ph.D, LPC says, “We must look into one another’s eyes to be healed.”

Think of the people in your life.

Can you look into their eyes? Can I?

We can never know the pain or joy of others in the triad but by walking together instead of apart, by looking in one another’s eyes, and growing in our capacity to love and be loved.