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God’s Touch in Fiery Furnaces

God's Touch During Tough Times

This was one of the first pieces I ever wrote that was published…way back in the day. It seemed that our team of lay counselors had been given the assignment of writing an article for the monthly newsletter. No one wanted to, so I gave it a try. The rest is history.


While jogging past our neighbor’s bed of multi-colored irises…yellow, peach, rust, lavender, and purple, I listened to a tape about the touch of God.

I longed for such a touch, as I was in a time of suffering, like we all experience sooner or later in life.

God’s touch can be physical, emotional, spiritual, or environmental, and he will go to any length to demonstrate his love and tenderness in a way that we alone know it is from him.

I prayed, Oh, Lord, I have known your touch in so many ways in the past, but right now, I am so out of touch with you. Busyness has taken over spending time with you and reading your Word. Would you please touch me anew? Any way you choose is fine. Just let me be able to recognize that it is from you…and that it is personally for me.

During tough times, I thought about how three Jewish boys,  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego, were put into a fiery furnace by Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzer when they refused to bow down to him,

Recognizing God's Touch in Adversity
When three Jewish boys were put into a fiery furnace for refusing to bow down to Babylon’s King Nebuchannzer, they trusted God. He showed up in a most unusual way that will give you faith for tough times.

 See Daniel 6.

I’m sure they were praying their hearts out.

But, wait….there was another man in the fire.

It was Jesus!

Jesus was with them in the midst of the flaming furnace.

That was his personal touch upon them.

“Look! I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.” (Daniel 3:25)

When finishing my run, the owners were still tending the  iris bed as I shouted,  “Thank you for planting these beautiful flowers for all the neighbors to enjoy!”

Grinning from ear-to-ear, the owner quickly cut a lavender iris, and handed it to me.

LAVENDER. My favorite color. Iris. My favorite flower.

Only Jesus knew this.

He went to great lengths to prove his love and care for me.

Walking home, my prayer came to mind and also the fact life was currently like a fiery furnace.

Just as he gave those three Jewish boys a special touch of his presence, he gave me a lavender iris in my fiery furnace of affliction.

Thus, in the future, whenever I see a lavender iris, I will think of the day that Jesus hand-delivered one to me.





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The Royal Wedding Can Teach Adoptees and Foster Kids to Dream Big

The Royals Taught Us How to Dream

What person, old or young, doesn’t dream of having a wedding like Meghan Markle and Prince Harry?

While gllued to our I-pads or tvs, we soaked in the royal pomp, the bridal bouquet hand-picked by the groom, the cellist’s music wafting through the cathedral, and the soulful choir singing the Amen chorus as they departed.

What drama!

A young, divorced, bi-racial American woman, tossed and broken by life itself, embarrassed by her father the night before the wedding…is getting another chance to marry…this time to the love of her life.

Meghan would have a new identity…the Duchess of Sussex… and would leave all the brokenness behind as she moved into the palace in another country.

If we use our sanctified imaginations, we can envision another wedding yet to occur between King Jesus and His Bride, the Church (all who know Jesus as Lord).

Summer is my favorite time to think about that very thing…to see myself as His Bride and hear his description of me,

In order to do this, I am reading  a book in the Bible called “Song of Solomon,” along with my favorite commentary by Watchman Nee.

Here are some of the highlights:

  • Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved; behold, you are beautiful (1:15)
  • Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come..(2:10-12)
  • You are altogether beautiful. my love. There is no flaw in you. Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. (4: 8)
  • You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes. (4:9)
  • I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me (7:10)

While watching Meghan and Harry wed, I couldn’t help but think about the royal wedding that King Jesus is preparing for me and all who belong to him.

I’ll be wearing white.

Will I see you there?










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Adoptee and Foster Kid Cry Prints Speak Volumes

How Adoptive and Foster Moms Can Leave Make Legacy

“A baby’s cry ensures the survival of the infant and promotes the development of the parent.

It’s a two-way communication system, designed to get infants whatever they need to thrive and teach parents how to interpret the baby’s language.

Each baby’s signal is unique.

Voice researchers call these unique sounds ‘cry prints,’ which are as unique as fingerprints.”

Excerpt: William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N. in PARENTING THE FUSSY BABY AND HIGH NEEDS CHILD.

In the short Biblical adoption account of when Moses was put into the covered basket in the Nile-infested river, the author records…”he was crying.” This is a description of Moses’ emotional state.

Most people who interpret these words just gloss over them.

However, the Hebrew word for “crying” is “bakah,” which means bewail, mourn, sob, weep continually, weep bitterly.

Remember, parents, you can’t fix us, but you can mirror us.

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Please Don’t Read “Two Moms” Poem on Mother’s Day

Why Can't I Control Anger At My Mom?

Mother’s Day for many adopted and foster kids may be a mixed bag. It’s like we’ve just scraped our long fingernails over a blackboard and just the mention of Mother’s Day can give us “the willies.”

We can’t stomach the “Two Moms” poem or the saying that we grew in our adoptive parents’ hearts. Leave those out, please.

Why should that be?

After all, we have two moms, right? Or, three or four….

Yes, our adoptive moms have tried their best to nurture, but because of our misplaced anger or their inability to attach, we reject them. And, for our first moms, there is sadness unspeakable.

For those of us adopted at birth or shortly afterwards, consider our initial perceptions of “mother.” For those adopted after birth, we sense disappearance, absence, and rejection…even in the most positive of circumstances with those adopting us.

And, adoptive or foster parents can’t fix this.

For those of us who are adopted later in life, perhaps through foster care, emotional reality would contain those things listed above, plus absolute chaos and trauma, and an inability to trust anyone.

So, is the dye cast at relinquishment(s), or placements?

Doesn’t rejection become our “normal” for all relationships in life?

For me, it did. I didn’t know that there are people out there that are emotionally available and nurturing. Thus, I along with many, seek those who will reject.

We need to find a new “normal.”

These elements may help both parents and kids.

Parents Who Affirm the Split

I love what Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher say in TALKING WITH YOUNG CHILDREN ABOUT ADOPTION. “My wish has always been that my children would feel normal, that they would feel all their questions about adoption have been answered, and that they would experience being our children as a wonderful and natural occurrence. And so, in telling their stories, which of course often reveal what a painful conflict being adopted is for them–and this is their reality–no matter what my wish, in effect I have to confront the split between my wish and reality. It strikes me as I write this that Teddy and Anna often confront this split. Sometimes, they let me in on the pain and sometimes they don’t. They–we all need to stay aware and continue to try to find the words for this split as we stay in the reality that this indeed is OUR family.”

Mental Health Provider Who “Gets It”

Sometimes, that reality comes through counseling. For me, that is how it happened. After hospitalization for depression, my psychiatrist proved that there are such people in the world. He was filled with respect and compassion and encouraged me to always “aim high” with future decisions.

Fellow Adoptees Who Cry With US

Sometimes, it happens through friendships with fellow adoptees. I will never forget the late Dr. Dirck Brown sitting with me while I recounted my birth mother’s cruel rejection after reunion. He cried with me and then told me how his birth mother had rejected him on her death bed.

Parents Identify Triggers

Birth mother raped: Hostile environment in womb…I am a mistake

Infant arches back: Who in heck are you? I want my mom.

Child withdraws and is sullen: I am sad that first mom gave me away.

Child clings to adoptive mom: Why didn’t I grow in your tummy, mommy?

Child sick on first day of school: I feel sick. Child is afraid of any new situation.