Don’t Fry Your Adopted/Foster Kid Brain-OK?
This weekend is a holiday and then comes September when almost every school in the US will have begun.
Stress city, fellow adoptees and foster kids.
If you’re anything like me with something new, you overshoot the mark.
In other words, you try so hard, work so hard, socialize so hard, do FB so hard….whatever.
Can you identify?
My husband often says…You didn’t have to do that, Sherrie.
He said it when:
- I accompanied a fellow adoptee up the steps of the Indiana Capitol building when I was just 10 days out of knee replacement surgery.
- I invited neighbors in for wine and cheese on the day I got home from my second knee replacement.
- I box the heavy bag so hard that I am in pain the following night.
- I over-commit at my church…
- I make promises to demanding friends to avoid feeling rejected or left out
Just about every fellow adopted/foster kid I know has similar desires. My friend,
Jody, and I laughed at ourselves one evening long ago when we gathered for a meeting. We were the only ones that brought a gift and we wondered at the time if that trait is characteristic of many adoptees.
Why do we work like dogs anyway?
That can be characteristic of addictive thinking…hmmm.
Honestly, in my exhaustion, I get really mad.
Over the years of being an over-giver, I have discovered that when I am in need, people don’t accompany me by post-op hobbling up Capitol steps. Nor, do they come bringing wine and cheese when I’m a few days out of knee replacement surgery.
They never meet my expectations!
Constantly, let’s remember to not fry our brains.
So, for these seemingly busy times, let’s choose to remember what Bob tells me, “You didn’t have to do it.”