How Will Your Adopted or Foster Child Remember You?
“How will my kids remember me?”
Is that not the thought of every mom, no matter our age?
Who, out of 85 million American moms, wouldn’t want them to remember us as loving, giving, compassionate, forgiving?
Most of us strive for this, right?
But, what if the kids don’t want our love? What if they’re belligerent and rebellious? What’s the use when you can’t see any results?
The question: “How Will My Child Remember Me” infers legacy. A mom’s legacy.
When you hear the word legacy, what pops into your mind?
End-of-life activities? Funerals? Wills? The family sitting around the dining room table listening to the reading of your last will and testament?
Legacy is that, but so much more.
It’s about now.
It’s about creating something now that your child can have forever.
You may think you’re too young to engage in making such a gift.
Let’s remember how quickly our lives can end on planet earth.
I was reminded of the brevity of life when our little family was planning to drive to Florida for special time with my parents.
The night prior to leaving, mom called to confirm contact information.
I found her irritating and was rather curt, but I assured her that after a two-day stint in Orlando, we’d arrive at their condo and carry out our family tradition of a yearly Florida vacation.Upon returning to the hotel from a fun-filled day at Marineland, we found a note on our door asking us to come to the office.
Bob went alone.
When he returned, his face was ashen, like old coals after a fire.
“You’d better sit down,” he said. “Your mom died two days ago. The Florida police have been trying to find us.”Oh, no.
Mom was gone? Really? I wouldn’t see her anymore? Gone forever?
Silently, we drove two hours to their condo.
“Where were you?” Dad ranted when he saw me.
For the next few days, we would find a way to get Dad’s car back to his hometown in Michigan, arrange for transportation of my Mom’s body, and secure five plane tickets.
As her child, in the deep loss, I would have loved to have a timeless memory that she’d created for me. Something I could hold in my hands and remember the values and beliefs she held dear.
I’m sure she wondered with an attachment disordered kid what I would say about her effectiveness in parenting. Would I ever say she was a loving mom?
How about your kids, mamas?
What will they say about you when you leave planet earth?
This week and for weeks to come, I’ll be sharing a new way to create an heirloom, a gift, a legacy that is timeless, a way that will insure your love, values, and virtues will be passed on, if not now, then later to your kids.
Will you join me, mamas?
I’m going to be doing this right along with you.