An Invitation to Join the Adoptee’s Hero Journey

What Adoptees and Foster Kids Can Do When Life Seems Impossible

Bob and I started with nothing almost 54 years ago. I was barely 20 for our shot-gun wedding at which time I launched into marriage and motherhood in one fell swoop.

Because Bob worked so hard to provide over those years, we got to go on our first Caribbean cruise a year ago.

The mental battle was real: Will I get motion sickness? Will I like being in such a huge ship with gazillions of people? What will the food be like? 

Whenever the ship took off in new directions, we stretched out on cushy bar seats in the stern, sipping Margaritas.

The magnificent, pure-white-bubbly wake was a sight to behold, giving passengers the sense of leaving things powerfully behind and launching into new waters and adventures.

Just like a powerful cruise ship changing direction in the matchless aqua-marine Mediterranean, we adopted and foster people need to be open to change directions on every level during every season of life.

The Path to the Adoptee’s Hero Journey

That’s whats happened to me within the last two years, and believe me, being open to change hasn’t been a piece of cake.

It’s been downright costly.

I’ve had to go beyond beyond.

I’ve had to give up decades-long anger, current anger, and anger at God for turning up the heat in my circumstances…without my permission.

I had to do this in order to survive repercussions of my painful past.

God knew this, but not me.

I thought I’d done all “my work” on adoption issues.

But, in many ways, I’m just beginning.

A dear friend tells me that I’m now on “the hero’s journey,” a place I haven’t been before, where the little wounded girl inside of me, the one I hated, will learn to play and live life to the utmost.

I’m experiencing new freedom from unrelenting sadness and anger resulting from the loss of my first mother, not only at birth, but also after reunion.

Warm memories of my adoptive mom have been surfacing, like gentle waves on the beach. That was once such a painful relationship.

And, something else that’s so amazing is that I now love the people I once hated. I even hug them:-)

How can this be?

Someone mightier than me brought about the renovation and I can claim no credit.

The Invitation

Does the journey of the adoptee hero sound appealing to you, fellow adoptee and foster kid friends?

How would you answer these questions about the possibility of climbing aboard ship?

  • “Would you like to go on a new adventure?”
  • What if you are promised incredible freedom from the painful past you’ve endured for a lifetime?
  • What if your difficult relationships could be transformed into loving relationships?

It’s easy to bark back–“that’s impossible.”

What if, however, you were offered a ticket to cruise on the Adoptee Hero Ship?

If you decide to board ship, your brain will try to take over. Will I be rejected there? Is there really hope that I can recover and repurpose my life? Will I have to eat humble pie? Will I get sick? Is it really true that my lion-like anger and rage is not a character defect nor a life sentence?

Would you like to join Bob and me in the stern of the ship and drink Margaritas as we sail into new waters?

If you don’t drink…well, you can nap.

But, even though it won’t be easy, I guarantee your life will change and you won’t recognize the person you are two years from now.















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