Category Archives: adoptee anger

What Adoptees Need To Get Unstuck

As adoptees begin to deal with the realities of adoption in their lives, blaming is part of the process. What adoptees don’t know is that blaming others for their painful past is a landmine for losing their personal power. Without knowing it, they are choosing to remain a victim. Here are some tangible ways to help your adopted child or teen get unstuck.

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Forgiveness A Command, Reconciliation An Option?

The longer I walk this journey called adoption, the stronger my belief is that the key–the whole key–to being healthy and thriving, to having a cup brimming over with joy, is to learn to forgive. How I wish I would have known some of the things I’ve learned lately about forgiveness and reconciliation. In Dr. Henry Townsend’s book Forgiving the

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What If Your Adoption Glass Is Half Empty?

If our adoption glass is half empty, we’ll be growing something in our hearts that is downright malicious. Something unseen and destructive. Something that keeps us from growing and moving toward maturity. Something that keeps us looking at life in a distorted way. We will fight for our rights to be heard and even become somewhat militaristic. We will make

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I Need to Know the Truth About My Conception, Birth, and Family History, No Matter How Painful the Details May Be

The late Betty Jean Lifton, author of Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience, describes the adoptee’s growing awareness of his desire to know more about his biological family as an awakening: “The act of adoption puts us under a spell that numbs our consciousness. When we awaken it startles us to realize we might have slept our lives away, floating

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Why Adoptee Birthdays May Be Difficult and What Parents Can Do

It’s a bright and sunny fourth day of August, back in the year 1950. In a back yard on Oakland Street, preparations are underway for a birthday party for a seven-year-old named Sharon Lee. That’s me. Dad and Mom move the picnic table to a shady spot under the big oak tree and then cover it with a colorful paper

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Mother’s Day Tips for Rejected Adoptees

When I returned from my reunion with my birth mother twenty years ago and called to thank her for the visit, she announced to me that she wanted no more contact. Twenty years ago, there wasn’t anything written about this experience and I felt so ashamed and was sure the rejection was because of something I did. So, for fellow

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All-Adoptee ICU Signs of Recovery

Here are a few of the signs that adoptees have healed: • “I have a unique life purpose…I can see how God is working in my life!” • “I can now take rejection in stride!” • “I can now see my adoption experience through God’s eyes!” The link for the All-Adoptee Online Group is: all-adoptees@yahoogroups.com. This is valuable to adoptees,

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An ICU for Hurting Adoptees?

Where can you take an adoptee for intensive help? If you go to the psych unit at the hospital, they don’t even mention adoption-related trauma as a possible issues of depression, anxiety, or self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. There is a place, online, where adoptees can go and be with other adoptees who’ve been where they are and who will help

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Don’t Tell Anybody My Secret….I Was Adopted

“Was I a bad baby, Mom?” young Stephen asked after his parents told him about his adoption. “Was there something wrong with me?…Is that why they didn’t want me?…Was I a bad baby?” His parents, startled by Stephen’s poignant questions, gathered their composure and reassured their son that the “giving up” didn’t have anything to do with him. Yet when

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