Category Archives: adoptee trauma

What Adoptees Can Do with Mixed Feelings

Regulating Mixed Feelings

Dear friends, Yesterday, I posted statements that cause mixed feelings (painful feelings) in adoptees. Today, let’s talk about concrete steps for dealing with the mixed up, finger-over-the-blackboard feelings: Journal Record your current circumstances in a journal. Maybe call it your “finger-over-the-blackboard” notebook? Create Self-Portrait Or how about getting a huge piece of paper? Then, have someone trace your whole body.

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Detecting Trauma Triggers in Foster and Adopted Children

Dear friends through adoption, I write this blog post with caution, knowing that this type of trauma–sexual abuse– doesn’t happen in the majority of adoptive/foster homes. I’ve seen many parents weep with love for their children. They would rather suffer than have their children suffer. But, for the loving, weeping parents, I beg you to not tune out to this

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Thinking Logically Seems Impossible for Attachment Disordered Kids

Are you kidding? Logical thinking.

Dear friends through adoption… Last week, Bob and I were painting my office. I got all the color chips and showed him the best colors. Within two hours, I changed my mind, and by the next morning, again. The following day, other colors and then back to the first. “I just can’t track with you!” Bob said, leaving the room,

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The Game Changer for My Attachment Disorder

Trauma=Smoke Alarm in Brain

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of your smoke alarm? Panic, right? Hasten to turn it off, right? Hate the loud, disturbing sound, right? Adoptees and foster children live with a smoke alarm in their brains everyday, but no one knows it. Therefore, it doesn’t get turned off. It goes off the moment

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My Set-Up for Reactive Attachment Disorder

Warm tears landed on my newborn body, like a spring rain. I wanted to feel them forever. To my once-orphaned delivery doctor, life was something to be celebrated, to shed happy tears over. I couldn’t wait to feel his tears again. What was it about those tears that soaked into my soul? Were they saturated with hope and comfort? Were

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Adoptees Explain Boo-Hoo Birthdays

Let’s think about the concept of birthdays for adoptees. First, what does a birthday represent for the non-adopted person? For most, it’s a happy time, built on the foundation of being welcomed into the world. A time for birthday cakes, parties, and balloons. Now consider an adoptee’s birthday. What does a birthday represent for him? It represents the day of

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