Category Archives: adoptee trauma

Dear Younger Me…the rejected adopted or foster me

Society doesn’t talk much about adoptees and foster kids being rejected by birth family members. It is more common than you may think. When I was rejected by my birth mother after our reunion, it was the year 1993. Back in those days, adoption literature was sparse and I couldn’t find anything that talked about what to do when you get rejected. For years, I thought it was my fault. God held me through it all, though. I offer this simple allegory written long ago to any therapists who may have rejected clients and also to fellow adoptees and foster kids.

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Look Beneath Your Adopted & Foster Child’s Smile on the First Day of School

Your adopted child may have a big smile as you send him off to the first day of school. Be aware, however, of the possibilities of specific fears that he may be struggling with.

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What Adoptees Can Do with Mixed Feelings

Regulating Mixed Feelings

Dear friends, Yesterday, I posted statements that cause mixed feelings (painful feelings) in adoptees. Today, let’s talk about concrete steps for dealing with the mixed up, finger-over-the-blackboard feelings: Journal Record your current circumstances in a journal. Maybe call it your “finger-over-the-blackboard” notebook? Create Self-Portrait Or how about getting a huge piece of paper? Then, have someone trace your whole body.

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Detecting Trauma Triggers in Foster and Adopted Children

Dear friends through adoption, I write this blog post with caution, knowing that this type of trauma–sexual abuse– doesn’t happen in the majority of adoptive/foster homes. I’ve seen many parents weep with love for their children. They would rather suffer than have their children suffer. But, for the loving, weeping parents, I beg you to not tune out to this

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