Category Archives: adoption search

How Adoptees and Foster Kids Can Prepare for Birth Parent Reunions

Adoptee Reunions with Birth Family Must Be Done with Caution and Preparation

An adoptee’s or foster kids’ reunion with birth family members can seem like a milion emotions all at once. It is easy for the reunited adoptee or foster child to feel overwhelmed, like a loser and a victim. Some say you can’t prepare for an adoption reunion, but adoptee veteran Sherrie Eldridge begs to differ. She lists five things adoptees and foster kids must remember in order to be prepared.

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An Adoptee’s Search for the Missing Face

Finding the MIssing FAce

An adoptee searches for a face in a crowd that resembles her own. If we could only see the face of the lost birth mother/father, the hurt would magically disappear. The grief would be resolved and the life-long repercussions of traumatic adoption loss would be mitigated. Oops…adoptee fantasy. True, those who have found the missing face through reunion have experienced

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Thinking Logically Seems Impossible for Attachment Disordered Kids

Are you kidding? Logical thinking.

Dear friends through adoption… Last week, Bob and I were painting my office. I got all the color chips and showed him the best colors. Within two hours, I changed my mind, and by the next morning, again. The following day, other colors and then back to the first. “I just can’t track with you!” Bob said, leaving the room,

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One Adoptee’s 69th Birthday Reflections

“Look!” the people around the campfire called out, pointing to the cypress trees that lined the famous Monterrey, California grill. Suddenly, a bagpiper came out of the woods, playing a melancholy tune. She wore authentic bagpiper regalia, walking through the field toward us. It was a special touch to an evening that we didn’t think could be any better. That’s

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What Reuniting Adoptees Need to Hear from Birth Relatives

Experts say that when birth mothers and their children reunite, it is like one thousand emotions all at once. Supposedly, both return to the place of separation. Yikes, talk about vulnerability! Everyone is afraid of saying the wrong thing, for we all know that words can hurt or heal. We tiptoe around “on eggshells.” Thus, it is helpful for all

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I Need to Know the Truth About My Conception, Birth, and Family History, No Matter How Painful the Details May Be

The late Betty Jean Lifton, author of Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience, describes the adoptee’s growing awareness of his desire to know more about his biological family as an awakening: “The act of adoption puts us under a spell that numbs our consciousness. When we awaken it startles us to realize we might have slept our lives away, floating

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Mother’s Day Tips for Rejected Adoptees

When I returned from my reunion with my birth mother twenty years ago and called to thank her for the visit, she announced to me that she wanted no more contact. Twenty years ago, there wasn’t anything written about this experience and I felt so ashamed and was sure the rejection was because of something I did. So, for fellow

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