Category Archives: adoption trauma

What Adoptees Need To Get Unstuck

As adoptees begin to deal with the realities of adoption in their lives, blaming is part of the process. What adoptees don’t know is that blaming others for their painful past is a landmine for losing their personal power. Without knowing it, they are choosing to remain a victim. Here are some tangible ways to help your adopted child or teen get unstuck.

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Why Do Many Adoptees Feel Guilty?

Get Rid of False Guilt

Dear friends through adoption, Many of us adoptees suffer from haunting guilt. Oh, we won’t tell you about it, but it’s there, like a sticky shadow. Guilt-Producing Beliefs Some of the things we feel guilty for are: YOU are responsible! (You were an unplanned pregnancy) You have no right to be alive You must justify your existence by helping others

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Detecting Trauma Triggers in Foster and Adopted Children

Dear friends through adoption, I write this blog post with caution, knowing that this type of trauma–sexual abuse– doesn’t happen in the majority of adoptive/foster homes. I’ve seen many parents weep with love for their children. They would rather suffer than have their children suffer. But, for the loving, weeping parents, I beg you to not tune out to this

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Thinking Logically Seems Impossible for Attachment Disordered Kids

Are you kidding? Logical thinking.

Dear friends through adoption… Last week, Bob and I were painting my office. I got all the color chips and showed him the best colors. Within two hours, I changed my mind, and by the next morning, again. The following day, other colors and then back to the first. “I just can’t track with you!” Bob said, leaving the room,

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The Game Changer for My Attachment Disorder

Trauma=Smoke Alarm in Brain

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of your smoke alarm? Panic, right? Hasten to turn it off, right? Hate the loud, disturbing sound, right? Adoptees and foster children live with a smoke alarm in their brains everyday, but no one knows it. Therefore, it doesn’t get turned off. It goes off the moment

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My Set-Up for Reactive Attachment Disorder

Warm tears landed on my newborn body, like a spring rain. I wanted to feel them forever. To my once-orphaned delivery doctor, life was something to be celebrated, to shed happy tears over. I couldn’t wait to feel his tears again. What was it about those tears that soaked into my soul? Were they saturated with hope and comfort? Were

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