Category Archives: adoption

Should Adopted and Foster Kids Keep Trying After Repeated Birth Parent Rejections?

Some therapists call it “repetition compulsion.” That means trying and trying with the same results. We adoptees and foster kids sometimes fall into this when we are rejected by a birth relative. We keep trying to make things better, but the birth relative keeps rejecting or abusing us verbally. What can adoptees and fostered kids do? Do we just keep on taking it? Here’s what Sherrie found out on her journey.

Read more

A Craft Project to Help Adopted or Foster Kids Process Adoption Grief

How, oh how, can a foster or adoptive parent help their child through grief? They run as fast as possible from anything sad, right? Here’s an indirect and creative way to approach the subject. I have always loved this poem because I think it shows the painful reality and also healing involved in adoption. It would be a neat project

Read more

Who Am I? Adoptive and Foster Parents Can Help Kids With Identity Issues

Who am I? This is the subconscious source of anxiety for many adopted and foster kids, no matter our age. I don’t know of one adopted or foster kid that hasn’t asked that question. Should I identify with my birth or adoptive parents, or both? What if one of them rejects me? Here is the unshakeable identity I found along

Read more

Preparing Adopted and Foster Kids for Family Holiday Gatherings

Isolation Might Be Choice of Adopted and Foster Kids in Social Situations

There’s nothing much more shocking than walking into a room of family members who snub you. Well, not only snub you, but act like they don’t know you’re there. I still remember when Bob and I attended the funeral of my beloved birth uncle Dave Clark, who stood up for me against a mentally-deranged and abusive birth mother…to his death.

Read more

Adopted and Foster Kids Can Survive Winters

With romanticized societal views about adoption and foster care, it is difficult to put a positive spin on your experience when you are in a winter of your life. There is something very special about living through the winter of one’s life touched by adoption and foster care, though. Let Sherrie share it with you?

Read more

Dear Younger Me…the rejected adopted or foster me

Society doesn’t talk much about adoptees and foster kids being rejected by birth family members. It is more common than you may think. When I was rejected by my birth mother after our reunion, it was the year 1993. Back in those days, adoption literature was sparse and I couldn’t find anything that talked about what to do when you get rejected. For years, I thought it was my fault. God held me through it all, though. I offer this simple allegory written long ago to any therapists who may have rejected clients and also to fellow adoptees and foster kids.

Read more

Sometimes Adoptees and Especially Foster Kids Feel Like A Burden

I took all my stuff to the downstairs bedroom, shut the door, and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. It felt safer there. Perhaps, there, I could escape the message that pounded in my head relentlessly: “You are a bother.” It was the time of my second clinical depression and I felt like I was being a

Read more

What Adoptees Need To Get Unstuck

As adoptees begin to deal with the realities of adoption in their lives, blaming is part of the process. What adoptees don’t know is that blaming others for their painful past is a landmine for losing their personal power. Without knowing it, they are choosing to remain a victim. Here are some tangible ways to help your adopted child or teen get unstuck.

Read more
« Older Entries