Category Archives: adoption

Sometimes Adoptees and Especially Foster Kids Feel Like A Burden

I took all my stuff to the downstairs bedroom, shut the door, and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. It felt safer there. Perhaps, there, I could escape the message that pounded in my head relentlessly: “You are a bother.” It was the time of my second clinical depression and I felt like I was being a

Read more

What Adoptees Need To Get Unstuck

As adoptees begin to deal with the realities of adoption in their lives, blaming is part of the process. What adoptees don’t know is that blaming others for their painful past is a landmine for losing their personal power. Without knowing it, they are choosing to remain a victim. Here are some tangible ways to help your adopted child or teen get unstuck.

Read more

What Adoptees Can Do with Mixed Feelings

Regulating Mixed Feelings

Dear friends, Yesterday, I posted statements that cause mixed feelings (painful feelings) in adoptees. Today, let’s talk about concrete steps for dealing with the mixed up, finger-over-the-blackboard feelings: Journal Record your current circumstances in a journal. Maybe call it your “finger-over-the-blackboard” notebook? Create Self-Portrait Or how about getting a huge piece of paper? Then, have someone trace your whole body.

Read more

An Adoptee’s Search for the Missing Face

Finding the MIssing FAce

An adoptee searches for a face in a crowd that resembles her own. If we could only see the face of the lost birth mother/father, the hurt would magically disappear. The grief would be resolved and the life-long repercussions of traumatic adoption loss would be mitigated. Oops…adoptee fantasy. True, those who have found the missing face through reunion have experienced

Read more

Why Do Many Adoptees Feel Guilty?

Get Rid of False Guilt

Dear friends through adoption, Many of us adoptees suffer from haunting guilt. Oh, we won’t tell you about it, but it’s there, like a sticky shadow. Guilt-Producing Beliefs Some of the things we feel guilty for are: YOU are responsible! (You were an unplanned pregnancy) You have no right to be alive You must justify your existence by helping others

Read more
« Older Entries