Category: adoptive mom
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The Special Needs of Adopted Children
Adopted children have special needs that adoptive, first, and foster parents must learn in order to become their child’s #1 cheerleader. Use this list as needed and as age-appropriate for discussing special needs with your child. You might say, “An adopted person wrote a list of her special needs. Would you be interested in seeing…
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I’M NERVOUS ABOUT FINDING BIRTH RELATIVES. Online Adoptee Bible Study
Like many adoptees, Moses probably experienced a tremendous amount of anxiety prior to his reunion with his birth brother, Aaron. “What will I say?” “How will I act?” “Will I laugh or cry?” he may have wondered. As with all adoption reunions, there is joy as well as pain, blessing as well as a sense…
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The Power of An Adoptive Mom’s Non-Abandoning Heart
will do everything possible to connect with my child I will still love her even when she rejects me I will love unconditionally, knowing her back story I will love her even though I am afraid I will love her by telling her the truth about her backstory. I will keep loving her even though…
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What’s With The Silly Cap, Randall?
I couldn’t believe it when This Is Us’s Randall wore a ski cap to the event that Kevin took their mom to! Of course, he and Kevin were in an all-out battle about who could take better care of their aging mom, as dementia set in. The scene of Kevin taking his mom to the…
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Validating The Profound Wound of Adoptive Moms
Without a doubt, your level of fatigue is off the charts and I don’t want you to feel like these 20 strategies are one more thing you must do. Far from it. Read a few pages, or even just one, even if you have to seclude yourself from screaming kids in the bathroom. I promise…
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The Deadly Secret of Adoptive and Foster Moms
When a mom is suffering compassion fatigue, she can’t stop trying to help her child. It’s like banging her head against a brick wall. It hurts, but she can’t stop. This is called repetition compulsion. This mom may say, “If I try again, surely my child will respond.” And so, these moms operate out of…
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How Adoptive Moms Can Reverse Their Child’s Misplaced Anger
I’m going to ask you to do something in regard to your adopted child’s anger that will likely seem crazy, but hang tight…it will make sense after you read the prescription for helping your child process misplaced anger and find healing from pre-adoption loss. First, think about your reaction to your child’s outbursts, rages, and…
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How Parents Can Instill Healthy Boundaries in Adopted Children
Adopted children feel different because they are different than you, biologically speaking. They are also different because of the way they became a part of your family. These are facts of life–facts you cannot change and facts you cannot fix. Your child is not the same as you, no matter how you slice it. But…
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Should Adoptive Parents Share Painful Pre-Adoption History with Kids?
Your child, at the appropriate age, can actually benefit from hearing painful information about his past because he will know that finally you are telling him the honest, gut-level truth. Kids are geniuses at detecting untruths. This giving of information doesn’t have so much to do with the truth about his past as it does…
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What I Wish My Adoptive Mom Would Have Said
Sometimes, parents are ill-equipped to teach their children emotional awareness, thus increasing the child’s Emotional IQ. They may be fearful, believing that emotions like sadness or anger can be harmful. They may be controlling, seeing negative emotions as something they’re responsible to fix, or they may feel it their responsibility to help the child understand…
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Confessions of An Angry Adoptee
We feel emotions more intensely than many non-adopted humans, for we have pre-adoption traumas that affect us right down to the cellular level.But, isn’t anger supposed to be a good thing? Yes! Our emotions are a gift, meant to help us. But, anger can become toxic if not processed. Take this quiz to see if…
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When You Write to Publish, Don’t Forget This!
Yesterday, LITTLE BRANCH GETS ADOPTED became available for purchase on Amazon.com! I am celebrating with my publisher, Marcinson Press, by eating chocolate cake. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be able to make this available to adoptive and foster parents, plus anyone who loves an adoptee. It’s for kids, ages 5-12. The…
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Why Some Adoptees Are Angry and Others Aren’t
Imagine a five-year old whose parents were wiped out in a car wreck. She’s just attended their funeral and then witnessed their coffins lowered six feet into the ground. If you were to strike up a conversation with this child as her aunt takes her hand and leads her to the car, what do you…
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What Happened To My Adoptive Mom’s Wedding Ring…and Me
Taking them out, something strange started happening deep inside me.I thought about my late Dad picking them for Mom.Where did he get them? And, why did he pick this design? And…what was it like for both of them when he asked her to marry him? Did they hug, kiss? Did he get down on one…
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What Adoptees and Foster Kids Need to Know About Anger
What I didn’t know is that for the adoptee, there are two kinds of anger—real, God-given anger for when we’re in danger. It’s the proverbial red light on the dashboard, alerting us to the fact that something needs attention.The other kind of anger is mis-placed anger, which runs rampant in adoptee and foster kid hearts.…