A childlike way to uncouple from chaos and crisis? This has helped the younger me calm myself. Perhaps it will help you, or your adopted or foster child.Read more
Category Archives: adoptive parents
There are many ways to deal with grief, and it shows up most during the holiday season. Is it possible to be happy if you are grieving? If you shove everything aside that remind you of your loss, will you be able to forget it? Sherrie made a wonderful discovery about grief and loss this year.Read more
There’s nothing much more shocking than walking into a room of family members who snub you. Well, not only snub you, but act like they don’t know you’re there. I still remember when Bob and I attended the funeral of my beloved birth uncle Dave Clark, who stood up for me against a mentally-deranged and abusive birth mother…to his death.Read more
With romanticized societal views about adoption and foster care, it is difficult to put a positive spin on your experience when you are in a winter of your life. There is something very special about living through the winter of one’s life touched by adoption and foster care, though. Let Sherrie share it with you?Read more
Society doesn’t talk much about adoptees and foster kids being rejected by birth family members. It is more common than you may think. When I was rejected by my birth mother after our reunion, it was the year 1993. Back in those days, adoption literature was sparse and I couldn’t find anything that talked about what to do when you get rejected. For years, I thought it was my fault. God held me through it all, though. I offer this simple allegory written long ago to any therapists who may have rejected clients and also to fellow adoptees and foster kids.Read more
Getting young or adolescent adoptees to hear truths about adoption is nearly impossible. It’s like they are deep beneath water and even though we scream so that they can hear, they often can’t. This letter is from an adoptee in her 7th decade to her unborn self. Perhaps fellow adoptees can find validation through Sherrie’s words and parents can make the letter age appropriate for their adopted and foster children.
A practical suggestion for parents of foster and adopted children may prove advantageous in delving deeper with your kiddos, teens, and adult children.
I took all my stuff to the downstairs bedroom, shut the door, and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. It felt safer there. Perhaps, there, I could escape the message that pounded in my head relentlessly: “You are a bother.” It was the time of my second clinical depression and I felt like I was being aRead more
This is another wonderful article from JEWELS NEWS, written by Samantha Jones, Fall 1997 Issue. Hello, my name is Samantha and I am 12 1/2 years old. I’m Afro-American. I’m adopted. I’ve been with my adopted family for about eight years now. Being adopted to me means being with the permanent family. Sometimes I wonder what my birth family isRead more
Even though we adoptees and foster kids lash out relentlessly at our moms, there are hidden pockets of love that will surface someday.Read more
It is possible to add insult to injury by labeling an adoptee’s or foster child’s battle with depression as a spiritual problem. Please don’t.Read more
Adopted and foster kids often have no sense of self. They may pick out someone they admire and copy them…even down to hairstyles and clothes. That was the way it was for me. I was not only rejected by my birth mother, but even more painfully, rejected by my very own self.Read more
Dear Dads, You have a role in your daughter’s life that no one else can fill. As an adopted person, I believe our sense of self worth is foundational to our relationship with you. You set the pattern for male relationships for life. If you are emotionally absent, we will believe that is normal and seek out those that actRead more
As adoptees begin to deal with the realities of adoption in their lives, blaming is part of the process. What adoptees don’t know is that blaming others for their painful past is a landmine for losing their personal power. Without knowing it, they are choosing to remain a victim. Here are some tangible ways to help your adopted child or teen get unstuck.Read more
Why would a seemingly insignificant object trigger pieces of my adoption puzzle that stayed dormant for years? And, how could I solve the grief puzzle it surfaced?Read more