Category: birth family
-
Cheat Sheet for Talking Adoption
What comes to mind when you think about initiating a conversation with your child about his birth family? Do you feel defensive, like the birth family is the enemy to be avoided at all costs? Do you feel sad, and does your lip begin to quiver at the thought of their possible presence in your…
-
Many Adopted Kids Want Parents to Address Their Curiosities About Birth Family
Is it okay to ask the hospital where I was born for my medical records? Is it okay to ask for non-identifying information about my birth mother and birth father? Is it okay to say that I’m curious about them and might like to meet them some day? Is it okay to be angry about…
-
Who’s That Little Girl, Anyway?
Imagine being given an assignment to find someone you’ve never met, but someone with whom you have an unknown connection. The person you’re searching for is a female toddler who lives in a bungalow on a prestigious, tree-lined street. She’ll be sitting on the porch steps alone. “Who’s that little girl, anyway?” you may ask…
-
Helping Adopted Kids Think Freely About Their Birth Parents
Parents, I know you and the fact that you’re reading this shows your heart. You would do anything to help your child come to terms with his/her first family. Here’s what you can do: Bring up the birth parents in conversation. “I wonder where you got that curly black hair. Do you think it could…
-
What Not To Say to Adopted and Foster Kids
Adoptive parents think they are giving us a great compliment with these words, but more than often, they wound. When well-meaning parents say, “We love you just like you’re our own,” their child may naturally wonder or hopefully ask, “Well, if I’m not your own, then whose am I? Where is my real family? Where…
-
How Many Adoptees Are Rejected by Birth Relatives?
Why do birth relatives reject some of us? Does our physical appearance remind our birth mothers of our fathers, whom they have no positive feelings for? Does seeing us trigger issues in them that they have never dealt with? Are they emotionally and mentally unbalanced? Or are they just downright mean? What does it mean…