Category Archives: birth mother

An Unexpected Prescription for Grieving Adoption Loss

This post handles the problem of adoption grief and proposes the added dimension of worship for healing.

It’s so easy to go negative about adoption, thinking that ranting about our pain will get us one step closer to healing. Speaking up and out is good, but there is an additional step that needs to be taken to become the people we were created to be.

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Adopted and Foster Kids: Buckle Your Seatbelts Before Birth Parent Reunions

Looking back on my initial contact via phone with my birth mother, it’s hard to believe that the whole reunion with her ended in slammed doors. Adoptees must be aware that rejection is a real possibility….and remain safe during times when rejection comes. Also, when the sweet words like this come. We must be wise and not operate on emotion.

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Should Adopted and Foster Kids Keep Trying After Repeated Birth Parent Rejections?

Some therapists call it “repetition compulsion.” That means trying and trying with the same results. We adoptees and foster kids sometimes fall into this when we are rejected by a birth relative. We keep trying to make things better, but the birth relative keeps rejecting or abusing us verbally. What can adoptees and fostered kids do? Do we just keep on taking it? Here’s what Sherrie found out on her journey.

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Dear Younger Me…the rejected adopted or foster me

Society doesn’t talk much about adoptees and foster kids being rejected by birth family members. It is more common than you may think. When I was rejected by my birth mother after our reunion, it was the year 1993. Back in those days, adoption literature was sparse and I couldn’t find anything that talked about what to do when you get rejected. For years, I thought it was my fault. God held me through it all, though. I offer this simple allegory written long ago to any therapists who may have rejected clients and also to fellow adoptees and foster kids.

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Should Adoptees Individuate from Birth Moms, Too?

As an adoptee, I learned how to fly the nest from my mom and dad through adoption. But, have I ever flown the nest from my birth mother? This is another step in establishing an adoptee’s unshakeable identity.

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How To Get Past Kid Defenses When “Talking Adoption”

Dear Parents, Sometimes your best-laid plans for talking adoption with your kids get sabotaged! Right? You’ve thought deeply about what to share/ask, determined the best time, and perhaps even rehearsed possible scenarios and outcomes. The pre-planned time arrives and you ask, “How about talking about adoption for a few minutes?” Many parents hear responses like these: • “Nope.” Child then

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This Savvy Adoptive Mama Isn’t Shakin’ In Her Boots!

See this little chickie? Isn’t she the cutest thing ever? She’s happy as can be because her mama knows what kinds of feelings and thoughts are floating around in that precious little mind. Her mama is savvy because she’s read every adoption book she can get her hands on. She knows the right time and place for conversations and looks

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