I am an author, adoptee, and adoptee advocate who is downright passionate about sharing this good news with the entire adoption triad!


For adoptees, freedom from their painful, anger-ridden past.

For adoptive parents, freedom from their condemning selves.


Honor an Evil Father on Father’s Day?

I fought like a dog to find who my birth father was…for many years of my life.

When I constructed my “Grief Box,” a lovely, small book, covered with Forget-Me-Nots and tied with ribbons, represented the image I had of him. When sharing in a presentation, I opened the book and shared the “Letter to My Missing Birth Father.”

Oftentimes when traveling, whenever  a sophisticated older gentleman appeared, I wondered if he could be my birth father.

I never dreamed that real life DNA would show him to be evil man who had married at least six times and was divorced by his last wife for “cruel and inhumane treatment.”

So, I like many on this Father’s Day, ask God how to honor an evil father.

As one of my wise counselors taught me years ago about what it really means to “honor” our fathers, as commanded in Scripture, the answer was simple….just tell the truth.

Military records prove that he was a criminal, who wove lies and fantasy around the six precious children he fathered.

Truth is, the Army wouldn’t have him, yet he constantly insisted that one son salute him when coming into his office, which was decorated with airplane models hanging from the ceiling.

Truth also is that I found the train wreck that he left behind…six siblings. There’s only been contact with two sisters and a brother.  One sister had to go back into therapy just remembering him.

So, I can’t believe this, but I don’t give a rip about my birth father.

Even though his DNA lives within me, I don’t identify with him…either physically or spiritually.

My identity is in Jesus alone.

How grateful I am that He has blessed me in knowing Him in this intimate way that my heart always longed for but never found in an earthly father.

And, let me tell you that I am incredibly grateful that God rescued me from my birth father and mother through adoption.

Finding an evil man only confirms that I am God’s idea, put on this earth for His purposes….to enjoy Him.

For those of you who are struggling with a painful past and a nightmare of a father figure, do as my counselor advised: Tell the truth.

God won’t be mad at you.

He understands.

He knows all.

And, I can say with confidence that He is the Ultimate Father.




5 responses to “Honor an Evil Father on Father’s Day?”

  1. Georgia's Pampering Avatar

    I honor the two men who served (and serve) as fathers in my heart. The other is DNA. Bless you for posting this on a day many are looking for such direction and even comfort, that they’re not guilty for withholding honor for someone that doesn’t deserve it.

  2. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Love to you, Janet. I am glad this blessed you today. No, we don’t need our earthly father’s abuse. Stand tall, girl!

  3. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Yes, such a situation is painful, but forces us to look up. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Others will benefit from your sharing.

  4. Linda Hoye Avatar

    I have a similar story with respect to my birth father. So thankful for my adoptive father and especially for my Heavenly Father.

  5. Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT - experience courage Avatar

    I needed to read this today as I am sitting in my church’s parking lot. I agree. My birth father denies me, abused his kept children and I do not want to know him even one ounce. ❤ to you Sherri

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