One Adoptee’s Thoughts About Her Birth Mother on Mother’s Day

liv with grandmas hat

Even though my birth mother was unable to receive the love I longed to give her, and even though she has passed away, I still have a deep love for her. I wish I could tell her:

• I am bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.
• You were a voice for me when I had no voice.
• Your choice to carry me saved me from death.
• You gave me the gift of birth and I want to thank you.
• You did the very best you could for me under very difficult circumstances.
• I admire your courage for continuing your pregnancy amidst stigma and shame.
• There is a special place in my heart reserved for you that can’t be filled by anyone else.
• I often wonder why you couldn’t be my mom. A letter would help me understand.
• Every tangible evidence of your love that can be passed onto me in the growing-up years will help me feel connected to you.
• I have a lot of anger at you, which is indicative of how much I miss you.
• My deepest fantasy is to be held in your arms.
• I think about you every day.
• I love hearing people say I look like you or my voice sounds like yours.
• I think about you on my birthdays and wonder if you are thinking about me.
• My love for you is bone deep.

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