I am an author, adoptee, and adoptee advocate who is downright passionate about sharing this good news with the entire adoption triad!


For adoptees, freedom from their painful, anger-ridden past.

For adoptive parents, freedom from their condemning selves.


My Set-Up for Reactive Attachment Disorder


Warm tears landed on my newborn body, like a spring rain.

I wanted to feel them forever.

To my once-orphaned delivery doctor, life was something to be celebrated, to shed happy tears over.

I couldn’t wait to feel his tears again.

What was it about those tears that soaked into my soul? Were they saturated with hope and comfort? Were they bright lights at the end of the traumatic tunnel of living my first nine months of life in the womb of a mother who fantasized abortion? Or, were they seeds, sown in secret, to produce a great harvest later in life?

Whatever it was, I wanted more.

Orphan Doctor held me up, gazed into my big brown eyes, and smiled.

But then Nurse Kratchit bent close to Orphan Doctor’s ear, whispering.

Orphan Doctor’s eyes pooled with tears.

What did she whisper?

Was there something wrong with me?

Was I ugly? Too little?

Is that why she suddenly whisked me off to a dimly-lit room where pleading and plaintiff cries hovered over me, like smog in LA?

Where was Orphan Doctor?

Where were those large, gentle hands that welcomed me to earth with orphan tears?

Why didn’t he come back?

Then, Nurse Kratchit shoved me into a box made of glass.

I kicked and screamed bloody murder, but the sounds of my cries bounced back at me, like ping pong balls.

No one hears.

And, so I give up and “go inside.” It’s safe in there.

Then, I hear Nurse Kratchit waslking near the glass box which was going to be my dwelling for ten days.

Proudly, she announces the name she’s chosen for me.

Baby X.


3 responses to “My Set-Up for Reactive Attachment Disorder”

  1. Sherrie Eldridge Avatar

    There is always hope, hurting mama. Stay connected and maybe you will get new ideas for connecting with him.

  2. Babywearingmom Avatar

    So sad, when I think about how much love an near I gave to my baby boy after birth – I think I nearly had enough for tow of them. And than there are these baby, they can’t get a first bonding and the deep trust will be lost that makes me cry

  3. […] dem Titel „My Set-Up for Reactive Attachment Disorder“ hat Sherrie Eldridge einen aktuellen Beitrag veröffentlicht, in dem sie die Gefühle eines […]

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