Dancing in My First Mother’s Shadow

Almost every adoptee has a shadow following her. It’s the shadow of the First Mother. The shadow may be fleeting, fear-producing, fierce, or formidable. It all depends, for each adoptee and First Mother are unique, one of a kind. But, one thing is certain–adoptees who experience rejection from their First Mothers can dance again.

I HAVE A UNIQUE LIFE PURPOSE. Online Adoptee Bible Study

The late Brian Keck, between the age of 10 and 16, was placed in 27 foster homes, three adoptive placements, two group homes and one detention center. He went on to earn a degree in social work and is now dedicating himself to become an Olympic wrestler. He said in an article for Connections, a newsletter published by ATTACh, “The early years of my life had not been the fairytale that everybody dreams about. I feel that everybody has problems every day. The difference is how you deal with those problems. I could have felt sorry for myself and gone nowhere in life, but I decided I wanted to make something of myself. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to be where I am now. I know that I had a bad childhood but why would I want to dwell on my past when I have a great future in front of me?” 

Ending the Unwanted War Between Adoptees and Their Moms

How I wish mom and I knew about what will be shared . We would have been freed from the war between us and enjoyed an intimate parent/child relationship that only comes from tough self-examination of both child and parent.

How Adoptive Parents Can Foster Self-Acceptance In Their Kids

Your child’s potential is there, yet invisible. I like to think of each person as made in the image of God–body, soul, and spirit.  Just like the amaryllis, those gorgeous red blooms are developing deep within, yet when he/she comes to you, likely there will be no evidence because pre-adoption trauma keeps it suppressed. 
         If you can see potential, I gently give this warning: if you rave about what you see in     your child, which may be filtered with your own expectations, it will be a tremendous pressure to conform and a closed door to authenticity.

What the MRI of My Adoptee Heart Showed

Sherrie couldn’t figure out why life’s circumstance felt like she was being painted into a corner. As a control freak, this was incredibly distressing. What she didn’t realize is that she was at the threshold of healing. A MRI of her adoptee heart clarified the diagnosis.

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