Tag: adoptee anxiety
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Call Me An Adoptee Druggie, But I’m Not
You can call me a druggie, but I’m not. I’m just dealing with the specifics of trauma which I was dealt. In this post I’m going to be very transparent and trust you not to judge. Why couldn’t I just go to sleep? That has been my life’s mantra. As a kid, I lay in…
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Look Beneath Your Adopted & Foster Child’s Smile on the First Day of School
Your adopted child may have a big smile as you send him off to the first day of school. Be aware, however, of the possibilities of specific fears that he may be struggling with.
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Preparing Your Adopted or Foster Child for School Bullies
You can equip your adopted/foster child to make healthy choices in the midst of bullying. Here’s how.
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What Adoptees Can Do with Mixed Feelings
Dear friends, Yesterday, I posted statements that cause mixed feelings (painful feelings) in adoptees. Today, let’s talk about concrete steps for dealing with the mixed up, finger-over-the-blackboard feelings: Journal Record your current circumstances in a journal. Maybe call it your “finger-over-the-blackboard” notebook? Create Self-Portrait Or how about getting a huge piece of paper? Then, have…
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Words that Trigger Trauma in Adopted and Fostered Kids
Dear friends through adoption, Cognitive dissonance occurs automatically and involuntarily for many adoptees, but adoptive parents and other people in an adopted child’s life can inadvertently trigger mixed feelings. I believe that for the most part, the following types of statements are well-intentioned and borne from ignorance. Nevertheless…we need to know what they are so…
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Why Do Adoptees Overextend Themselves?
I could just hear Bob saying, “You didn’t have to do that, Sherrie.” Such a familiar phrase. He said it when: I accompanied a fellow adoptee up the steps of the Indiana Capitol building when I was just 10 days out of knee replacement surgery. I invited neighbors in for wine and cheese on the…
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An Adoptee’s Search for the Missing Face
An adoptee searches for a face in a crowd that resembles her own. If we could only see the face of the lost birth mother/father, the hurt would magically disappear. The grief would be resolved and the life-long repercussions of traumatic adoption loss would be mitigated. Oops…adoptee fantasy. True, those who have found the missing…
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Why Do Many Adoptees Feel Guilty?
Dear friends through adoption, Many of us adoptees suffer from haunting guilt. Oh, we won’t tell you about it, but it’s there, like a sticky shadow. Guilt-Producing Beliefs Some of the things we feel guilty for are: YOU are responsible! (You were an unplanned pregnancy) You have no right to be alive You must justify…