Tag: adoptee fantasy
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Sandcastles In Adoptee Hearts
How I identify with the message of the framed print above my bedroom table named: “My Sandcastle.” It pictures blue skies, a sandy beach, and a four-year-old girl straddling a two- foot-tall sandcastle. Busy at work, she slaps handful upon handful of wet sand upon her creation, oblivious to the seagulls flying overhead or the…
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Identifying With Fellow Adoptee Anne With An “E”
Most adoptive parents will identify with the challenges of raising an adopted child. The mother and father were brother and sister and had never raised children. They made typical mistakes that almost all parents do, but the challenges were often magnified because they had no backstory, no parental training or education, and no awareness that…
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Adoptees Explain Boo-Hoo Birthdays
Let’s think about the concept of birthdays for adoptees. First, what does a birthday represent for the non-adopted person? For most, it’s a happy time, built on the foundation of being welcomed into the world. A time for birthday cakes, parties, and balloons. Now consider an adoptee’s birthday. What does a birthday represent for him?…
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Adoptee Fantasies
All children have a secret place where they can fantasize about having better parents when they are disillusioned with their own. Freud called this the family romance. However, when the non-adopted child later learns and accepts the fact that his parents have both positive and negative characteristics, the fantasy dissipates. It is not that simple…