Tag: adoptive mom
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I SOMETIMES FANTASIZE ABOUT MY BIRTH MOTHER. Online Adoptee Bible Study
Adopted children spend an exorbitant amount of psychic time in fantasy. They may seem to be sitting quietly in their rooms, or just looking out the window, when really they are deep in the Ghost Kingdom imagining scenarios that might have been or still might be…These fantasies are not just the passing fancies with which…
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The Power of An Adoptive Mom’s Non-Abandoning Heart
will do everything possible to connect with my child I will still love her even when she rejects me I will love unconditionally, knowing her back story I will love her even though I am afraid I will love her by telling her the truth about her backstory. I will keep loving her even though…
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Why Adoptive Moms Are Hard On Themselves
Imagine an adoptive mom hiding behind a velvet curtain backstage in the world of adoption. She’s wrapped in that curtain, but why? What if we went behind the curtains and led her center stage? Without a doubt, the mom would resist the spotlight. The spotlight is repugnant, for she darn well doesn’t need any more…
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The Deadly Secret of Adoptive and Foster Moms
When a mom is suffering compassion fatigue, she can’t stop trying to help her child. It’s like banging her head against a brick wall. It hurts, but she can’t stop. This is called repetition compulsion. This mom may say, “If I try again, surely my child will respond.” And so, these moms operate out of…
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How Adoptive Moms Can Reverse Their Child’s Misplaced Anger
I’m going to ask you to do something in regard to your adopted child’s anger that will likely seem crazy, but hang tight…it will make sense after you read the prescription for helping your child process misplaced anger and find healing from pre-adoption loss. First, think about your reaction to your child’s outbursts, rages, and…
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Who Can Identify The Five Faces of Adoptee Anger?
Envision a multi-dimensional circular, multi-colored feelings chart, including every emotion humans could ever experience. Such a chart reminds me of the diversity of reactions adoptees have about the emotion of anger in regard to being adopted. Some say they have no anger while others wonder if it’s a life sentence. Some say it’s not a…
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What Happened To My Adoptive Mom’s Wedding Ring…and Me
Taking them out, something strange started happening deep inside me.I thought about my late Dad picking them for Mom.Where did he get them? And, why did he pick this design? And…what was it like for both of them when he asked her to marry him? Did they hug, kiss? Did he get down on one…
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Irish Adoptive Mom Writes Groundbreaking Book!
Dear friends…I am pleased to introduce you to Mari Galligher, an Irish adoptive mom. She is soooo brave. When you read about the current adoption atmosphere in Ireland, you will be amazed that she has broken silence in a country that doesn’t talk about adoption. Please welcome her, and give her a big hug. Love,…
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What Can Adoptive and Foster Mamas Do When Rejected?
As an adopted person, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be rejected by your children. I believe foster and adoptive moms are some of the bravest people I’ve ever met because most of the time, their efforts and love are not received. What should moms do? This is one major step that will keep…
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How Will Your Adopted or Foster Child Remember You?
As her child, in the deep loss, I would have loved to have a timeless memory that she’d created for me. Something I could hold in my hands and remember the values and beliefs she held dear. I’m sure she wondered with an attachment disordered kid what I would say about her effectiveness in parenting.…
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Are Adoptive and Foster Moms Supposed to Bite the Bullet with Kid Anger?
As an adopted person, I wish my mom would have let me know the truth about hurting her with my anger instead of just biting the bullet and swallowing hard until the next rage. How are we kids to learn what anger costs those who love us? In some ways, just ignoring the anger spree…
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The Granddaddy Fear of Many Adoptive and Foster Moms
This post deals with a common fear among many adoptive and foster moms-that their child will someday prefer the birth mom and go and live with her. The answers presented are understanding the dual identity of the child, making verbal boundaries, and the right timing.
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Your Adopted or Foster Child’s Memories May Surprise You
Even though we adoptees and foster kids lash out relentlessly at our moms, there are hidden pockets of love that will surface someday.