Tag: adoptive moms
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One Adoptee Carries On Her Mom’s Christmas Eve Tradition
Adoptive moms have no idea of the memories of love they’re creating for their kids. They can’t even fathom, nor entertain the idea that THEY are a gift to their adopted children–her persona, her everyday activities, her faithfulness in remaining a mom with a non-abandoning heart. So, when Christmas Eve comes, I think of Mom…
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Validating The Profound Wound of Adoptive Moms
Without a doubt, your level of fatigue is off the charts and I don’t want you to feel like these 20 strategies are one more thing you must do. Far from it. Read a few pages, or even just one, even if you have to seclude yourself from screaming kids in the bathroom. I promise…
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Why Some Adopted Kids See Their Adoptive Mom As An Enemy
When your child connects with you for the first time, he brings with him all the “faces” of other moms that were in your role before. So, if your child is a newborn, it is the first mom’s face. If a school-age child removed to foster care, the first mom’s face. If a teen coming…
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One Adoptee Discovers Late Mom’s Legacy of Love
I never dreamed I’d be writing a book about her…my late adoptive mom, that is. Our rocky relationship was nothing to brag about. In fact, it was a secret I carried as an adoption author and speaker. But, then something incredible occurred. Flashing into my mind were warm memories of her. How could that be?…
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Is Adoptee Anger My Life Sentence?
Many of us adoptees wonder if anger is our life sentence. It’s been a constant companion since childhood and even though attempts like counseling have been made to quell it, it’s a strong as ever. Once a counselor told me to just scream when I feel angry. The next time I felt angry, I screamed…
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How Will Your Adopted or Foster Child Remember You?
As her child, in the deep loss, I would have loved to have a timeless memory that she’d created for me. Something I could hold in my hands and remember the values and beliefs she held dear. I’m sure she wondered with an attachment disordered kid what I would say about her effectiveness in parenting.…
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Are Adoptive and Foster Moms Supposed to Bite the Bullet with Kid Anger?
As an adopted person, I wish my mom would have let me know the truth about hurting her with my anger instead of just biting the bullet and swallowing hard until the next rage. How are we kids to learn what anger costs those who love us? In some ways, just ignoring the anger spree…
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The Granddaddy Fear of Many Adoptive and Foster Moms
This post deals with a common fear among many adoptive and foster moms-that their child will someday prefer the birth mom and go and live with her. The answers presented are understanding the dual identity of the child, making verbal boundaries, and the right timing.
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Your Adopted or Foster Child’s Memories May Surprise You
Even though we adoptees and foster kids lash out relentlessly at our moms, there are hidden pockets of love that will surface someday.
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Why Does My Adopted or Foster Child Hate Me?
Adoptive moms receive the brunt of adoptee anger. They are present, but the one whom the anger is really directed at is the birth mom, for disappearing from our lives…for kicking us out. That’s what it feels like.