Tag Archives: adoptive parents

Celebrate the Miracle: Reflect Often On How You Became A Family

  Without a doubt, you know that an absolute miracle transpired in your heart when you adopted your child. Trying to describe it would be impossible, for it was like a million emotions exploding simultaneously—like fireworks! If I had to pick just one moment of absolute, unadulterated joy it would be the moment I saw her photo pop up on

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I Need to Know the Truth About My Conception, Birth, and Family History, No Matter How Painful the Details May Be

The late Betty Jean Lifton, author of Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience, describes the adoptee’s growing awareness of his desire to know more about his biological family as an awakening: “The act of adoption puts us under a spell that numbs our consciousness. When we awaken it startles us to realize we might have slept our lives away, floating

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Mother’s Day Tips for Rejected Adoptees

When I returned from my reunion with my birth mother twenty years ago and called to thank her for the visit, she announced to me that she wanted no more contact. Twenty years ago, there wasn’t anything written about this experience and I felt so ashamed and was sure the rejection was because of something I did. So, for fellow

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Adoption Pearls from the All-Adoptee ICU

A lesson from nature teaches us that pain is the catalyst that makes the precious pearl. Through all the tough issues adoptees work through in the All-Adoptee ICU, pearls of wisdom are formed. Here is my “take” on the pearls. How about yours? 1. Anyone can make love, but only God can create a life. 2. Even though my birth

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Don’t Tell Anybody My Secret….I Was Adopted

“Was I a bad baby, Mom?” young Stephen asked after his parents told him about his adoption. “Was there something wrong with me?…Is that why they didn’t want me?…Was I a bad baby?” His parents, startled by Stephen’s poignant questions, gathered their composure and reassured their son that the “giving up” didn’t have anything to do with him. Yet when

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A Letter to My Granddaughter, by an anonymous father

Dear Baby, Although I consider myself a literate and learned man, I confess that these are the hardest words I have ever written or read in my nearly fifty years of life. I want to tell you about the circumstances of your conception and birth. Since I won’t be able to do it in person, this letter will have to

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My Adopted Child Is Violent–I Am Afraid for My Life, Dr. Keck!

Dear Dr. Keck, I am posting this question because I’ve heard stories from many adoptive parents who have violent children. Also, they probably aren’t going to violate confidentiality and post their name here. So, I am writing in their place….asking your wisdom. What are the beginning signs of violence and at what age do they really start? What are the

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Una Carta Para Ti

Querido Amigo,Alguna vez has tenido pensamientos confundidos acerca de tu experiencia de adopción como: ¿Por qué aunque tengo padres que me aman temo el rechazo? ¿Por qué aunque tengo un hogar maravilloso que me proveen mis padres pienso tanto sobre mi Madre de Nacimiento? ¿Porque pienso en el fracaso cuando puedo tener mucho éxito?Yo si he tenido estos pensamientos y

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Confessions of An Adoptee Hoarder

Our living room floor was scattered with tidbits of paper, scratched-out notes from my first conversation with birth relatives, photos of generations past, a handwritten will of my birth grandmother, the first card I received from my birth mother, the newspaper clipping with the hand carved ship my grandfather made for Henry Ford back in the day. (Yes, THAT Henry

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