Tag: birth mother
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Do you Want to Heal from Adoption Wounds? Here’s How.
Being a Lone Ranger doesn’t bring healing for those touched by adoption. When we are grieving deeply, we can’t see and even don’t want to see the pain of others. Pain twists our perspective. Sherrie Eldridge has been there and gives reason why striving for humble healing is essential…in the company of all that have…
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Twenty Gifts of An Adoptee
There are many adoptees who will nay-say the idea of being grateful for being adopted. Most of them haven’t lived as long as I have! Looking back over seven decades, I can see so many things to be grateful for and I say them in deep respect for fellow-adoptees who are in pain or anger.
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Understanding Causes of Unplanned Pregnancies in Adopted and Foster Teens
Why is it so common for adopted and foster teens and 20-Somethings to experience an unplanned pregnancy? You will be surprised as the author reveals her experience and what she has learned to share with adoptive and foster parents. Parents are given tips on how to cope with this challenge.
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An Unexpected Prescription for Grieving Adoption Loss
It’s so easy to go negative about adoption, thinking that ranting about our pain will get us one step closer to healing. Speaking up and out is good, but there is an additional step that needs to be taken to become the people we were created to be.
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Adopted and Foster Kids: Buckle Your Seatbelts Before Birth Parent Reunions
Looking back on my initial contact via phone with my birth mother, it’s hard to believe that the whole reunion with her ended in slammed doors. Adoptees must be aware that rejection is a real possibility….and remain safe during times when rejection comes. Also, when the sweet words like this come. We must be wise…
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Should Adopted and Foster Kids Keep Trying After Repeated Birth Parent Rejections?
Some therapists call it “repetition compulsion.” That means trying and trying with the same results. We adoptees and foster kids sometimes fall into this when we are rejected by a birth relative. We keep trying to make things better, but the birth relative keeps rejecting or abusing us verbally. What can adoptees and fostered kids…
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Dear Younger Me…the rejected adopted or foster me
Society doesn’t talk much about adoptees and foster kids being rejected by birth family members. It is more common than you may think. When I was rejected by my birth mother after our reunion, it was the year 1993. Back in those days, adoption literature was sparse and I couldn’t find anything that talked about…
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Should Adoptees Individuate from Birth Moms, Too?
As an adoptee, I learned how to fly the nest from my mom and dad through adoption. But, have I ever flown the nest from my birth mother? This is another step in establishing an adoptee’s unshakeable identity.
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This Savvy Adoptive Mama Isn’t Shakin’ In Her Boots!
See this little chickie? Isn’t she the cutest thing ever? She’s happy as can be because her mama knows what kinds of feelings and thoughts are floating around in that precious little mind. Her mama is savvy because she’s read every adoption book she can get her hands on. She knows the right time and…
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Adoptees Explain Boo-Hoo Birthdays
Let’s think about the concept of birthdays for adoptees. First, what does a birthday represent for the non-adopted person? For most, it’s a happy time, built on the foundation of being welcomed into the world. A time for birthday cakes, parties, and balloons. Now consider an adoptee’s birthday. What does a birthday represent for him?…
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Amazing Research News For Birth Mothers and Adoptees
Thanks to science, we now have a deeper glimpse into our Creator’s heart that cherish’s birth mothers and their sacrificial gift in adoption….and for the child that is adopted. We all know from Dr. Thomas Verny in The Secret Life of the Unborn Child that: ~the birth mother’s heartbeat and warmth of her body makes…
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Forgiveness A Command, Reconciliation An Option?
The longer I walk this journey called adoption, the stronger my belief is that the key–the whole key–to being healthy and thriving, to having a cup brimming over with joy, is to learn to forgive. How I wish I would have known some of the things I’ve learned lately about forgiveness and reconciliation. In Dr.…
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One Adoptee’s Thoughts About Her Birth Mother on Mother’s Day
Even though my birth mother was unable to receive the love I longed to give her, and even though she has passed away, I still have a deep love for her. I wish I could tell her: • I am bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. • You were a voice for…
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Yikes…Tell the WHOLE Truth?
Many parents who adopt are terrified that their children will someday learn about the negative aspects of their child’s birth family history. “What if my son finds out that his birth father is in prison? What if he discovers that his birth mother is a prostitute, or drug addict? What if my daughter learns that…
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How Adoptees Think About Their Birth Mothers
All children, adopted or not, have secret places within where they can fantasize about perfect parents. They travel to these places when disillusioned with their own parents. Freud called this the family romance theory. When the non-adopted child learns around age seven or eight that his parents have both negative and positive characteristics, their fantasies…
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The Granddaddy Fear of Many Adoptive Moms
The subject of birth parents is a frightening one for many moms with adopted kids. Do you mean that my child has two mothers? What if my child reunites with the birth mother and loves her more than me? Do you think I should tell him he has two mothers? If you are in an…
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What Adoptees Deserve from Their Birth Mothers
Dear friends through adoption, Remember the metaphor of the Great Eagle and the eaglet? I’ll be the eaglet today and tell you how it felt when I stepped on to the wing of the Great Eagle. Remember…the pain of the nest was too much for me…I couldn’t stand it….I cried to get out of the…