Tag: international adoption
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Amazing Research News For Birth Mothers and Adoptees
Thanks to science, we now have a deeper glimpse into our Creator’s heart that cherish’s birth mothers and their sacrificial gift in adoption….and for the child that is adopted. We all know from Dr. Thomas Verny in The Secret Life of the Unborn Child that: ~the birth mother’s heartbeat and warmth of her body makes…
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Adoption Pearls from the All-Adoptee ICU
A lesson from nature teaches us that pain is the catalyst that makes the precious pearl. Through all the tough issues adoptees work through in the All-Adoptee ICU, pearls of wisdom are formed. Here is my “take” on the pearls. How about yours? 1. Anyone can make love, but only God can create a life.…
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How Adoptees Think About Their Birth Mothers
All children, adopted or not, have secret places within where they can fantasize about perfect parents. They travel to these places when disillusioned with their own parents. Freud called this the family romance theory. When the non-adopted child learns around age seven or eight that his parents have both negative and positive characteristics, their fantasies…
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The Granddaddy Fear of Many Adoptive Moms
The subject of birth parents is a frightening one for many moms with adopted kids. Do you mean that my child has two mothers? What if my child reunites with the birth mother and loves her more than me? Do you think I should tell him he has two mothers? If you are in an…
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How To Grieve Adoption Loss (Russian Translation)
Dear friends, Last year, I had the privilege of presenting to a Russian group of social workers. The principal from the Russian school here in Indy translated the points for me. I am hoping that this may reach someone out there who speaks Russian, or some of our guests that were here that day at…
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An Adoptee’s Wish List
If only this could happen, the gaping wound in my adoptee soul would heal. If only… • I knew the names of my birth parents • I could access my original birth certificate • I could see my birth mother’s face • I could know medical history • I could find my missing birth father…
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The Answer When Adoptees Don’t Know Their History
There certainly is a lot of adoptee anger and sadness regarding missing birth family history. Whether its the opening of our original birth certificates, owning only a certificate of abandonment from a foreign country, or finding negative and painful history, and even a tombstone…its all hard to process. In the midst of our finding identity…
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What Adoptees Deserve from Their Birth Mothers
Dear friends through adoption, Remember the metaphor of the Great Eagle and the eaglet? I’ll be the eaglet today and tell you how it felt when I stepped on to the wing of the Great Eagle. Remember…the pain of the nest was too much for me…I couldn’t stand it….I cried to get out of the…
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Adoptee Fantasies Must Wash Away
Dear friends through adoption, Oftentimes, we grow up believing fantasies about our birth family. Some imagine birth parents as a king and queen who live in a castle, concluding that life would indeed be wonderful when reunion occurs. I remember when I met with the intermediary that eventually found Elizabeth, my birth mother. We met…
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Good Little Adoptees Must Let Go of Pleasing
Dear friends through adoption, As I began searching in earnest for my birth mother, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to let go of deep feelings of loyalty to my Mom and Dad. I was loyal to a fault, always wanting to please them and not knowing that beneath it all was attachment…
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What Adoptees Wish Others Would Say About Searching
Dear friends, The reactions of my family members hurt and I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t back me searching for my birth mother. My husband said, “Sherrie, she shut the door 47 years ago and if you try to open it, you may get hurt.” Translating what my Dad might have been thinking…well, I don’t…
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An Adoptee’s Heart-Wrenching Decision to Search
Dear friends through adoption, After hearing my family’s silences, judgments, and sarcasm about possibly searching for my birth mother, I made a very difficult decision. It was a decision that was new to me, even though at the time, I was 47 years old. I was like an overgrown eaglet who had stayed in the…
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Why Would You Want to Search for Birth Relatives?
Good morning, friends! I remember when curiosity was spilling over inside me! I had my birth mother’s name….Marjorie Elizabeth Perry. A real person. My fantasy mother was coming to life. Really? She was real? How could I not find her? I wanted to find her and reassure her that she had made the right decision in placing…
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How To Find Adoption Identity Clues
How do you connect the dots(clues)? Look for mysteries, out-of-the-ordinary stuff, shocking circumstances, and repetition. What makes your mind say “really?” When I was a child, the physician who delivered me visited every week to check on me came until I was old enough to ask who he was. Hmmmm. Something strange there. Anything come…
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Is Searching for Lost Birth Relatives Worth the Risk?
Dear friends, Before deciding to go full blast on our adventure, we must count the cost, don’t you think? See this precious little girl, dressed up as a detective? If we could see her heart, this is what she would look like. Most adoptees in the All-Adoptee Growth Group (all-adoptees@yahoogroups.com) say that they think about…
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You Are Invited to an Adoption Identity Search!
You are invited to join me in what I’m calling an “Identity Search!” It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do or how and if your life has been touched by adoption. We will be searching for clues, confirmations, circumstances, and confidence. Up for the journey with me? I’ll give you an adoption…
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Have You Been Carrying Around Old Things, Like Me?
Dear friends, There’s a photo that I’ve been hauling around in a folder for years (at least 30). Of course, I can’t put my hands on it right now, but let me describe it to you. It features a Jewish man who is weeping profusely, his face mostly buried in a damp handkerchief. If you…