The Forgotten Father

Adoptees Are Silently Searching for Missing Birth Fathers

In the majority of adoption literature, birth mothers are mentioned as the predominant loss for the adoptee. While interviewing more than 70 adoptees for a book, I learned that they think about their birth fathers as much as birth mothers.

So why aren’t birth fathers honored? Why aren’t they mentioned? A father is one of the greatest gifts a child can ever have. It is through a father that we learn about Father God.

Here are some of the effects of fatherlessness:

• 63% Subjective psychological problem (defined as anxiety, sadness, pronounced moodiness, phobias, and depression)

• 56% Poor grades or grades substantially below ability and/or recent past performance

• 43% Aggression toward parents

Important features of the subgroup of 32 latency aged girls were in the same order:

• 69% indicating subjective psychological distress 47% academic problems 41% aggression toward parents.

Clinical Observations on Interferences of Early Father Absence in the Achievement of Femininity by R. Lohr, C. g, A. Mendell and B. Riemer, Clinical Social Work Journal, V. 17, #4, Winter, 1989

Let’s honor birth fathers on Father’s Day. Honor them for their God-given position and their gifts to the adopted child.