Photo of young man pulling suitcase and walking down country road is symbolic of adoptees and foster kids' desire to search for lost birth relatives. The traveler here is pulling a suitcase full of something that will keep him crippled with fear. Sherrie shows how to let go of the suitcase and run forward.

What Does God Say About Adoption Reunions?

Nothing like getting a new family when you’re an old lady!

That’s me.

After receiving DNA results from Ancestry.com a few weeks ago and then reaching out to my birth brother, I was terrified that the results were incorrect. What if Ancestry was wrong? Do they make mistakes? What if I reached out to supposed relatives and ultimately I wasn’t related to them. What if this whole thing was a sham?

A dear friend recommended that my brother send a DNA spit sample to Ancestry.com., which he gladly did. This would remove any doubts.

Doubts And False Guilt

But, I still had doubts.

What would God say about me searching like this? Guilt has been a roadblock for me ever since the early days when I was trying to find the maternal side of my birth family. Searching wasn’t common then and I felt guilty for even wanting to do it. I had thoughts like:

  • Why would I search for more family when God has already put me in a family?
  • Would He bless my efforts or would I grieve Him as a rebellious daughter, always wanting more?
  • Would my relatives reject me? (mother did)

It was during this time that I read Ecclesiastes 3, where it says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for activity under heaven…..a time to search and a time to give up. (v.6).

I also studied about fellow-adoptee Moses, who lived in Biblical times.  After the burning bush and giving every excuse conceivable to God about why he couldn’t do what God had created him to do, God did something very unusual…something unusually good, which was true to His nature.

Get this!

He asked Mo about his birth brother, Aaron.

Can you believe it?

God Himself brings up the topic of lost relatives.

Initiator of Reunions

“What about your brother, Aaron, the Levite? I know he can speak well. Aaron will be your spokesman before Pharaoh.” (Exodus 5:14).

“Whew!” Moses must have muttered beneath his breath. But then he thought, “My brother? I hardly remember him. He is just a shadowy figure from my past. I am relieved that somebody else is going to do the job, but why did God reach way back into my past and choose somebody from my birth family to do it? I am terrified that Aaron will reject me.”

And, then God shows His tender, beating heart for adoptees: “He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you,” God said (4:14).

Can you just imagine what it was like when they saw one another across the field? What joy must have filled their hearts.

I see them sitting around the campfire that night, telling one another what had happened since that day that Moses was adopted by Pharoah’s daughter.

Extended Family

Last night, when checking my ancestry tree…ZOOM! There was my brother’s name, along with my sister, both 99% correct. My friends who do DNA say that’s a very high percentage and that most people don’t get such results.

I was elated!

To meet another part of my family after all these years.

Since this is not my first rodeo with searching, I am paced and patient, having already met my late birth mother, birth sister, my late birth brother, and my nephew and wife and now two beautiful children.

And, so this “only kid” looks back on the 70 plus years with gratitude beyond measure.

 

 

 

 

3 responses to “What Does God Say About Adoption Reunions?”

  1. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Susan, thank you so much for sharing your story about DNA and the family you found. A bit overwhelming, eh?

  2. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Thank you, Susan. Thanks also for sharing the story of rejection from your birth mom. It is common experience amongst adoptees, but not talked about much. Maybe your story will reach someone who needs to hear they are not alone. Love, Sherrie

  3. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    Congratulations on finding your brother! That is awesome I couldn’t be happier for you!

    I too was rejected by my birth mom ten years back before DNA when, I searched using my adoption agency. That rejection stung bad for a long while but when I heard about DNA testing I decided I have a right to know my family my birth mom does not get the last word. So Labor Day weekend 2016 my results came back in on Ancestry with a 1c1r, and with the help of a great search angel we found my birth mom and my family in about a hour our family is huge lots of testers just not my brother or aunt on her side so far. As you may gather I haven’t called her or contacted her in any way I did the tests to find out if I have siblings and I do one on her side and one on my probable paternal side. Part of me wants to out her to both my brother and my aunt and damn the consequences at least they will know who she really is since she hasn’t told anyone about me. Of course once your DNA is on all the national big matching boards the word is out sort of. I am in touch with some lovely cousins who actually know her. Again congrats on your happy ending and that’s a little of my story.

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