Why I’m “Pro-Adoption”

I am 100% pro-adoption. In order to communicate this, I’m using two words: relinquishment and adoption. When the First Mother signs off parenting rights, the term “relinquished” is apropos. This word refers to pre-adoption pain and trauma. However, when your child is placed, this is adoption, and it is positive, for it provides a forever home for an orphaned child. Of course, there are bad actors amongst adoptive and foster parents. But, adoption itself is positive. Adoption doesn’t mean a certain set of societal professions arrange it, but instead, it means that the homeless child is legally placed in a home where parenting is provided. For example, the adoption can be a lawyer(s) arranging the legalities, family members stepping up to parent, or foster parents adopting through DCS.

Yes, the existing systems are filled with brokenness and fraud, but do we need to throw the baby out with the bathwater? Some encourage completely doing away with adoption. Really? Do away with the homes orphaned kids receive? They say that it’s the “painful part” of adoption they want to eliminate, but can we eliminate the realities of life itself?

Some advocate eliminating adoption, but are they understanding what that really means? Do they have any idea how that thought might impact those that entered their family through adoption. Are they not chipping away at the tender self worth of many adoptees? This concerns me.

What must be understood is that there is a difference between adoption and relinquishment. Dr. Ron Nydam was the first to pioneer this understanding decades ago. Newer generations must embrace it.

Here are some definitions:

  1. Adoption: 

Define: The action or fact of legally taking another’s child and bringing it up as one’s own, or the fact of being adopted.

Synonyms: assumption, assuming, taking on, acquiring, acquisition, affecting, affectation, espousal, advocacy, promotion, appropriation, arrogation, selection, choosing, choice, voting in, election, electing, naming, nominating, nomination, designation, designating, appointment, appointing

  1. Relinquishment:

Define: Voluntarily cease to keep or claim; give up.

Synonyms: renounce, give up, part with, give away, hand over, turn over, lay down, let go of, waive, resign, abdicate, yield, cede, surrender, leave, resign from, stand down from, bow out of, walk out of, retire from, give up, depart from, vacate, pull out of, abandon, abdicate
discontinue, stop, cease, give up, drop, desist from.

Personally, I am grateful that I was adopted. Without it, I probably wouldn’t be here. There are many other adoptees that would agree. When I look at adoption, I remember that in the midst of the brokenness and evil is God’s promise to “work all things together for the good of those who love Him and live according to His plan.” We all groan in the brokenness but have much to look forward to–our Heavenly Home with Jesus.


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