Dear friends through adoption,
Cognitive dissonance occurs automatically and involuntarily for many adoptees, but adoptive parents and other people in an adopted child’s life can inadvertently trigger mixed feelings.
I believe that for the most part, the following types of statements are well-intentioned and borne from ignorance. Nevertheless…we need to know what they are so the adoptee can be helped with repercussions.
I don’t like to be told I am special. It’s like I just can’t be me.
Words and Statements That Can Produce Painful Feelings
- 1. How do you fix her hair?
- Are they twins?
- You’re going to adopt another black child?
- You’re fulfilling the Biblical mandate to adopt
- Your birth mother loved you so much that she gave you to us.
- You were chosen.
- Count your blessings.
- You are special.
- We love you just like our own.
- You belong.
And, so for the adoptee, the choice would be what? Look at the list of choices in the menu bar at the top of this site.
Choice #4: To claim both the painful and positive emotions as valid and verbalize them.
Hoping this post is helpful to you!
This is an excerpt from 20 Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make. Purchase here: