This photo of a young woman looking pensive illustrates how adoptees and foster kids might be perplexed about their painful past. Sherrie offers a fresh perspective on suffering and choice.

Would Adoptees and Foster Kids Say Yes to This?

Lately, I find myself asking, “If you knew before you were born, would you have signed up for the life you’re living?

Would I have signed up for:

  • Being an unplanned baby, called Baby X
  • Not being able to see my birth mother’s face from birth until reunion at 47 years old
  • Feeling ill at ease in any family or group context for years
  • Hypervigilance. The doc who said I was ultra sensitive emotionally and even physically, yet never named PTSD. It just wasn’t associated with adoption.
  • Moving multiple times internationally, which removed lasting friendships
  • Experiencing birth mother rejection after reunion
  • Hearing the doc say I have SLE Lupus
  • Spending 10 days in the Stress Center

Who would want to sign up for these things?

Who would choose suffering instead of a problem free life?

For me, if God showed me the suffering I would face, I might not sign up to walk through it.

But, looking back, I certainly would choose exactly what has come my way.

For, the suffering has given me a:

  • Song in the night.
  • Purpose for my life that will last long after I’m gone.
  • Trust that I’ve never been alone, even as a newborn in an incubator for 10 days.
  • Unshakeable identity. I know whose I am in spite of two sets of parents.
  • Worth. I know that God meets me in special ways that only I can understand.
  • Faith. Knowing God is good is all I need in horrible times.

And, so the answer to my question is of whether or not I would show up and accept a painful past, the answer is YES!

I will  live to the max whatever comes my way.



6 responses to “Would Adoptees and Foster Kids Say Yes to This?”

  1. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Yaaay, Jill! Powerful story🎉

  2. Jill Fuller Avatar
    Jill Fuller

    I just found my birth parents. My father “not such a good guy” and my mother passed away 3.5 months ago. But I met her family this past weekend and that was amazing. I feel so at peace at 47. And I’m not about to waste the sacrifice my mother made. I will live life to the fullest.

  3. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Thank you, Kristin. Your words mean a lot.

  4. Kristin Avatar

    I love your very real, honest perspective on all things. You always help me see a new perspective.

  5. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    So happy to hear that you were encouraged, Nate!

  6. Nate Birt Avatar

    Sherrie, I found this post so encouraging as an adoptive dad. Thank you!

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