It takes something special to develop a Marine-like heart in the world of adoption. A person with a Marine-like heart has completed the hard work of getting free from his painful past or condemning self. Because he has nearly experienced death in this process, he has compassion for those that are hurting. The US Marines profess this mindset: “to be prepared for anything by training for everything.”
It’s Innate
Did you know that this Marine-like heart is innate? It’s a deep-seated, inborn characteristic that illustrates how you were crafted in the womb. You were crafted with a big heart that loves children—their smiles, their laughter, their fingerprints. Becoming aware of this intuitive capacity can happen at any time during life. A woman who is sorting photos may conclude that she’s wanted to adopt since childhood. Her proof? In every photo, she’s holding her dolly close to her chest.
Remembers The Calling to Adopt
Becoming aware of this intuitive capacity can happen at any time during life. A woman who is sorting photos may conclude that she’s wanted to adopt since childhood. Her proof? In every photo, she’s holding her dolly close to her chest.
“I’m good mama.”
Sad When Children Hurt And Sacrificially Gives
Another innate feature about you is that your heart breaks when seeing children suffer and you are willing to give sacrificially to ease their pain. Just ask the 65-year-old grandma who is parenting a grandchild through kinship adoption. When DCS intervened in her daughter’s addictive life, this grandma couldn’t send her grandchild away. Or, ask the married woman who feels burdened for an unborn baby who will become homeless after birth. Or, the distraught mom of a teenaged boy who’s left home without leaving a clue.
You might be a single foster mom who gets a knock on her door by the birth mother asking if you’ll adopt her child that very moment. And, of course, you say yes. Or, you may see a write-up of a 20-something young man who’d been abandoned at birth and never adopted. You imagine what it would be like to give him a forever home.
Courageously Speak Truth
While researching with 50 adoptive moms for my upcoming book, I thought of the word “Marine” in another way. These 50 taught me a valuable lesson–that if a mom isn’t prepared adequately for pushback, she will blame herself when things go south. But, these moms demonstrated “marine-like hearts” when they wrote about how the truth about adoptee pushback wasn’t given to them. They were like real time Marine recruits who were sent to the battle before learning the skills of bootcamp. I applaud their courage for speaking out! I can see their Marine-like hearts.
These moms wish there would have been pre-adoption training as well as post-adoption education about the realities of parenting an adopted child. How could they not be overwhelmed when nothing worked?
Some people will never react to the aforementioned scenarios, but you do—because of the way your heart is wired. Embrace that, okay?
If you are interested in reading more about boot camp for mamas, you might check out my new podcast: Preparing for Adoptee Pushback.
Find it at 20 THINGS ADOPTION PODCAST, with Sherrie Eldridge.
