What Adoptive Mamas Can Do When Kids Reject Their Love and Them

Why I Rejected My Adoptive Mom’s Gift…and Her

If the President were pinning Purple Hearts on adoptive and foster mamas whose daily challenge is to pull drowning Adopted and foster kids from trauma tidal waves, my Mom would be there….for she saved my life in multiple ways.

Dad would be in the front row, beaming with pride….I hope.

And, me, I’d be sitting in the back row, ticked off. How could I be happy and proud of someone I hated?

Yes, that is the ugly truth.

I hated my mom.

Oh, please forgive us, for we know not what we are doing.

Mom died suddenly at age 70, when I was only 36. Dad died 11 years later.

Then, in my seventh chapter of life, warm memories of mom surfaced within me, like an old-fashioned slide show.

These memories weren’t necessarily about her achievements, but they could have been.

Instead, they consisted of her character and unspoken influence of love…eating her delicious apple pie on the front porch , feeling her oil-drenched fingertips massage my asthmatic chest, and a car trip to a farm to pick out a kitty—Dinny Dinwit.

Quite cognizant of the changes in perspective, I searched for information about brain chemistry, etc.

Then, I wondered if I was experiencing hallucinations…really!

Little did I imagine that I was healing from adoption wounds and receiving the love mom left for me.

When I say healing, I mean that something truly miraculous happened within me. Something I couldn’t have worked out no matter how hard I tried.

It was God’s powerful move in my life.

He gets all the credit.

Sometimes, it takes a lifetime for a legacy to be discovered by the next generation, but it is never lost.

So mamas, take heart. Your legacy of love to your child won’t be forgotten.




What Adoptive Mamas Can Do When Kids Reject Their Love and Them
The pain involved in the adoptive mother/child relationship is deep and often seems impossible to normalize. Sherrie Eldridge encourages adoptive mamas to know the intrinsic value of their love to their children by showing her own mom’s determined love in the midst of Sherrie’s fierce rejection.





Looking back, I declare mom to be a “Marine mom,” one of the proud, the few, the willing of heart to take whatever necessary for her child to experience love.


7 responses to “Why I Rejected My Adoptive Mom’s Gift…and Her”

  1. 20bet Avatar

    Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

  2. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    Yes, Rita! What a powerful history you and your daughter Leah share. I am so happy for everyone involved. No, I haven’t read that book. What is it about? Sharehere so we all can learn from you❤️

  3. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    I pray that your kiddos will heal. Thx for your kind words.

  4. ritadorene Avatar

    Sad that some children have to go through this. I pray they come through on the other side like you, and like my daughter Leah Koch-Sower!
    Have you read The Light Between Oceans?

  5. Jeanine Avatar

    Sherrie, this gives me such hope. I do pray I live to see the fruit but I’m so thankful God brought you to a place where you were healed enough to love your parents. That is my prayer for mine who struggle as well. You are such a blessing.

  6. Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author Avatar

    This is only part of a life story…not all.

  7. Amy Tompkins Avatar
    Amy Tompkins

    As an adoptive mom it makes me really sad to read this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *